Memories and Gratitude on Father’s Day 2009

Growing up and meeting the fathers of my friends I could see how different you were, Dutton! And my friends were always impressed when they met you!

Other fathers were distant figures who worked long hours, often at jobs they did not enjoy. You always had time to talk and to ask and to remember.

You had a workbench with tools that worked and we were allowed to use it as long as you had showed us how to work safely. One time I remember painting a model car and spilling the paint on your workbench. My neighbor friend thought I would be in big trouble and he was very impressed that you just said to clean it up as best as I could.

That was usually the rule for anything: “Just do the best you can.”

And you had a cool job as a teacher and a scientist (my friend Billy King in Carrollton wanted to know if you were a “mad scientist”) and it was clear you had a passion for what you were doing. A passion for your work and yet it did not take you from time with us.

My earliest memories are lying on your back in the river in Connecticut as you swam with me. And likewise on your back as you went sledding on some scary hills there! But I knew I was safe with you!

As I said to Mom, I am grateful that you let us be kids and go off on our own. It was such a contrast with how kids are raised today with so much meddling and control.

You were always introducing us to new opportunities to learn, to make things and to explore. You made the introduction, but then it was up to us to decide if we wanted to continue with that interest or not.

That is how I was introduced to hiking, biking, music, arts, model airplanes, model trains, photography, reading, advanced math and various scientific interests. Some activities continue to this day and all were activities I enjoyed at the time.

It seemed you knew about everything and you were always the teacher and explainer. Whether it was about places long ago and/or far away or about some creature I had found and was observing. You often had a book and invited me to go learn more on my own.

One of my favorite activities was biking to the Wheaton library and just finding new universes of exploration and learning. You certainly helped inspire both the biking and the learning.

Your love of photography was enjoyable and rewarding for you, and it also was of enduring value for all of us. I am especially realizing this now as I scan and organize your photos.

You were always recording important moments, even when it was cold or embarrassing or we were just wanting to keep moving! You said we always appreciate seeing them later and you were right then and it is even more appreciated now!

Not only taking photos, but taking good photos. And keeping good notes of the people and the places. It is a pleasure now to be able to find the people of our past and to have such a precious gift for them as well!

And there were a lot of places that we explored. Your priorities were always for travel and for learning and for exploration rather than for things. Living in Europe as a child certainly shaped so much of how I see the world today. And exploring the US at every chance you could arrange for us was just as valuable.

You were a master of travel, researching the places in advance so our time was used to best advantage, the new vistas were maximized and the inconveniences were minimized.

As a child it seemed you were skilled in everything. When we went ice skating you could do cool moves and likewise when you dusted off your clarinet you didn’t just play, but made real music!

And in your work, you were tops in your field. All of those covers on Science magazine! Wow! As amazing as it seemed at the time it is even more amazing when I think about it now!

While you did not let your work take away from time with us, you were always careful to be sure you were supporting us comfortably and we never had to think about money. Saving was more important than finding things to spend money on. But that way of thinking led to opportunities and freedom I enjoy today.

You were so concerned to be a good supporter that I was shocked to find out you did not even want to “bother us” with the fact you lost your job when I was in college. But it was not a problem for long as you got right out and found new work in new places and that led to new experiences and opportunities for you and for us.

You always put us first. I realize that when I think of your passion for photography and you didn’t buy a new lens or a new camera for so many years. And your love of music, yet you didn’t buy a stereo system until I almost went off to college. You wanted to be sure others had what they needed first.

You were always there as the big, strong father. Sometimes it was something as simple as dealing with dead pets. Usually a fish, a frog or a lizard that needed disposal!

One summer day at the Kemp Mill Pool, my friend David Kopp and I were playing basketball. The usual crowd of men came onto the basketball court and just started playing as if we were not there. You charged over as if you were going to take them all on in battle!

When a cause was just for you, no risk was too great. And not just physical risk. You spoke up at your work if someone was not being treated right. I have always tried to be the same, but you were the inspiration.

After your botched treatment for appendicitis and the resulting hernias and other hardships, you came back stronger than ever. You were permanently limited in what you could lift, but it never stopped you from becoming stronger and healthier in every other way.

You started running and you never looked back. You were in better shape at 70 than most Americans are at 20. I could barely keep up with you running! You were determined to find your own way to health and determined to stay as far from doctors in the process!

When you started, you were years ahead of the trend and the fad. Just as you have always been.

I was always amazed at your insight into human nature and the trends of history that resulted. Frustrating, no doubt, to see so much living amongst a world of hairless apes!

Finally, thank you and Mom for being a loving and caring couple.

As I said to Mom, I often share these memories and feelings of gratitude for what you did with my friends. But I don’t always share them with you. So, I am grateful for this chance to do so!